My Life as a Fake Blue Belt

Yesterday went jiu-jitsu training. Techniques were collar and loop chokes from the closed guard, open guard, and the turtle.

I’ve kinda mentally absorbed it but I’ve dumped out the details for most of the chokes. I’ve had other stuff on my mind. Currently I’m obsessing over my lack of skill with basically my entire jiu-jitsu game, because the past three training sessions I haven’t shied away from sparring.

The great news is that my knee is doing fine and, thanks to my strength training, I don’t leave the mats sore or ridiculously sapped of all energy. Plus my DOMS (delayed onset of muscle soreness) are non-existent only after jiu-jitsu, not the gym. The bad news is, now that I’m sparring more often, I see just how terrible I am at jiu-jitsu.

I’m continuously placed into positions I have no control over. My escapes aren’t really escapes. My passes are reactionary, meaning I can’t pass on demand if my life depended on it. When I do get a half descent escape going it leads to crazy pace scrambles where my opponents escalate the level of resistance and intensity, which makes me slow down because I don’t want to get injured.

Case in point, I get my lip busted and start bleeding all over my gi all because I spun out of an armbar that my sparring partner took as “Oh, it’s on!” He does the polite deep bow afterwards, and it IS Japan where best efforts are the only type worthy of performing, so I can’t hold that against him. But still, I’d like to keep my scarring to a minimum please, thank you.

Despite my earlier positive glass-half-full entries, I’m really not seeing the end of this plateau I’m on and I’m not sure if I can push through to the next level.

Even though I know that in the end game this is just a rough patch of road and smooth roads do indeed lay ahead doubt plagues me like all my sparring partners securing side-control. Dammit.

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